Monday, August 8, 2011

Day off!

  The good news is that I have another day off from work.  The bad news is I have to take my DH to the Dr.  For those of you that do not know, my DH has a brain tumor.  It is a very stable brain tumor--not growing--but still a brain tumor.  Tom's main problems are seizures and headaches.  He has 3 different kinds of seizures and has many seizures a day. Therefore he cannot be left alone.  This presents a big problem of trying to have a family member here 24/7. While my children have been absolutely wonderful by helping look after him, they are growing up and working and generally getting a life of their own. So ....I am stressing out about our future and who will be taking care of him.
  Did I tell you I am stressed out?  I am getting more gray hair by the day!  STRESS!

Well, tom has been having horrible headaches daily.  I freaked out thinking the Tumor was growing and called the Neurosurgeon and requested an MRI.  Everything is stll stable--Thank you God!
So I ask how come he is deteriorating before my eyes?  The Dr. thinks he is overmedicated.  So,  I will be asking the Dr. to reduce his meds.. She is not going to like it but I can see no other choice,  Tom has no quality of life now.  He is in bed 16-18 hours a day sleeping and trying to get rid of his headaches .
I try to get him out for dinner once or twice a week but it really isn't in our budget. So I worry about him and how I am going to take care of him in the future. 

  We actually toured an Adult daycare center last Friday.  I left in tears.  It was so horrible.  I am not ready to have him in one of those facilities--don't think I would ever be able to do that to him.  So that is not an option.  Tom is on medicare but I carry the insurance and we need my income so I cannot quit my job to take care of him without major lifestyle changes.  Push comes to shove, I may have to go that route.
No wonder I am gray! Right? Did I mention a little STRESS? 

I am sure it will work out somehow.  I hope. Please God!  I am trying to get a business built up selling soaps, herbs, jellies and old fashioned plants I have propagated.  I want to start attending the local Farmers markets next year-maybe this will be a way to stay home with him--never know!

So off to the Dr. we go!


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